Major home Games are once in a lifetime opportunity for any athletes in the world. I prepared those Games as well as I could and felt great the morning of the tournament, considering that I just flew back from Russia a day and a half ago. Never in my career I had a crowd supporting me during tournaments. It was always in another country or province and the only people that were cheering were teammates and coaches. For the first time of my life, I had my girlfriend, my family, my colleagues, students from the club and a huge crowd that was behind me, supporting me. I was physically and mentally ready for the tournament and my opponents but I learned that morning that I was not ready for the crowd. I got overwhelmed by the support of everyone and I tried to fence (and win) not for me like I am used to but for them. At that point, I felt the biggest pressure I never felt before and started my day in the worst way possible losing my first bout, then my second, then my third and then my fourth. The pressure just got bigger after every lost and I had only one bout left and it was a do-or-die situation. I only had a chance to go to the next round if I win this last bout. During the first four bouts, I was fencing so tight and so nervous that the results were exactly like they were suppose to be: terrible. The pressure kind of disappeared for my last bout because I knew at that point I had nothing left to lose. This is the mentality, by the way, I had for my whole season: nothing to lose. So I ended up winning my bout 5-2 which was just just enough to access the next round. At that point, the pressure kicked in once again: I had to do good to compensate for the horrible start (I know; not the best mentality). This was not my smartest day of fencing but with everything that was happening, I felt I could not do anything about it.
When I saw the tableau, the little confidence I was able to build during the 30 minutes break received a huge uppercut. I had to fence for the third time in three tournaments Ruben Limardo from Venezuela that beat me 15-5 in 2013, 10-6 at 2015 Pan Am Championships and 13-4 at World Championships last week. He was having a great day and let's say that I had better ones. I used the little time I had to try to come up with a game plan and some confidence for the bout and actually created some. The bout ended up finishing 15-0 for him... It was the worst nightmare possible. I could hear the silence (from my family and friends in the crowd) after every single hit I received and it was painful. There was always someone that was cheering me trying to help me but it was literally like a nightmare, I could not control anything. To my defence, I prepared all my actions, changed from offensive to defensive, changed the target, change the rhythm, change weapon, etc. I tried everything that I could think of at that point but Ruben seamed to always be one move ahead. After answering questions from the journalist (some of them were actually very good even considering the situation I was into), I went back to the fencer's area and I could still not believe what just happened.
After couple of days of talking with other people, I had time to see the big picture and realized that those things happen in our sport and I am not the first, nor the last to live this. I just have to learn what I can from this experience/nightmare and let go of the rest. One thing is for sure now and I am glad that I realized that early in the Olympic qualification: I have to fence for me without nothing to lose because at the end, all of us, we fence because it's fun. I used to think that people that were saying: just have fun, the important is to participate, blah blah blah, were all wrong. Now I know, sadly from a very bad experience, that the important IS to have fun. If you aim for fun, victory will come. If you aim for victory (especially for the wrong reasons), it will not be fun. Now it's time to go out, enjoy the Games and support other Canadian athletes in all sports.
Congratulations to my teammate Hugues Boisvert-Simard who won the bronze medal that day!!!
When I saw the tableau, the little confidence I was able to build during the 30 minutes break received a huge uppercut. I had to fence for the third time in three tournaments Ruben Limardo from Venezuela that beat me 15-5 in 2013, 10-6 at 2015 Pan Am Championships and 13-4 at World Championships last week. He was having a great day and let's say that I had better ones. I used the little time I had to try to come up with a game plan and some confidence for the bout and actually created some. The bout ended up finishing 15-0 for him... It was the worst nightmare possible. I could hear the silence (from my family and friends in the crowd) after every single hit I received and it was painful. There was always someone that was cheering me trying to help me but it was literally like a nightmare, I could not control anything. To my defence, I prepared all my actions, changed from offensive to defensive, changed the target, change the rhythm, change weapon, etc. I tried everything that I could think of at that point but Ruben seamed to always be one move ahead. After answering questions from the journalist (some of them were actually very good even considering the situation I was into), I went back to the fencer's area and I could still not believe what just happened.
After couple of days of talking with other people, I had time to see the big picture and realized that those things happen in our sport and I am not the first, nor the last to live this. I just have to learn what I can from this experience/nightmare and let go of the rest. One thing is for sure now and I am glad that I realized that early in the Olympic qualification: I have to fence for me without nothing to lose because at the end, all of us, we fence because it's fun. I used to think that people that were saying: just have fun, the important is to participate, blah blah blah, were all wrong. Now I know, sadly from a very bad experience, that the important IS to have fun. If you aim for fun, victory will come. If you aim for victory (especially for the wrong reasons), it will not be fun. Now it's time to go out, enjoy the Games and support other Canadian athletes in all sports.
Congratulations to my teammate Hugues Boisvert-Simard who won the bronze medal that day!!!
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